FAILURE

Quran 2:216

Quran 2:216

In surah baqara verse 216 Allah tells us that we may love a thing and it is bad for us and we may hate a thing and it is good for us and Allah knows and we know not.

And this applies to absolutely everything He does.  He knows and does best for us. 

This applies to what we experience as failure.  It applies to the thwarting of our most ardent desires.  

Most of us hate failure. It is painful, humiliating, crushing.  But people of inner traditions realize what a blessing failure is.  

What does success do but make us complacent and smug?  It entrenches our sense of significance and power.  It reaffirms the illusion that we are in control of our lives; that we can manage outcomes for our benefit and take care of ourselves.  It reinforces our ego, makes us arrogant and intolerant of others’ weaknesses and failures.  And it makes us more, not less, desirous of worldly success.

Failure, if understood and used correctly, has the opposite effect.  Unless, of course, we plunge into a pit of self-pity, play the victim and blame the world for our failure and misery.  But if used correctly, failure can be beneficial for our growth as human beings.

How can failure help us?  

One of the first things that failure does is that it shakes our arrogant self-possession. It makes us humble.  Repeated and devastating failure can force us to look inwards at ourselves and reflect if there is something about us that needs changing.  Are we perhaps pursuing the wrong things? Are we looking at the world the wrong way? Is there something wrong in the way we are doing things?


Failure also makes us more compassionate and understanding.  When we begin to accept our own flaws, mistakes, weaknesses and failures, we become more understanding and accepting of others and their blemishes and disappointments.  


Failure makes us more patient.  We learn to endure pain, humiliation and disappointment when we fail, because we do not have a choice.

Failure makes us submit.  By definition, submission must be to something that is not pleasant or desired.  Submission only makes sense if it is to something that is painful and difficult.  

And if we do all this – reflect and work on ourselves, patiently endure, and submit to what Allah delivers to us – then in time He shows us the blessing in the failure.  He shows us how it was indeed better for us than what we had desired, just as He says in this ayat.

Once we have experienced the blessing of failure, it no longer worries us or distresses us as it used to.  We become more and more patient and tranquil in submission and in the conviction that Allah knows and does best for us.

May Allah grant us tawfiq to be patient in failure and grant us the wisdom to see the blessing in it.  

Generosity and the Self

Life is the product of an Unconditionally Generous Creative Force. Creation came into being and we are given life out of nothing at all.  We are given life before we do anything to earn or deserve it.  

The self comes from this unfathomable Generosity. Unconditional Generosity which can also be called Love, is the very essence of Existence, of the self.  It is our very nature.

A wholesome self is a generous self; it spends itself in unconditional service. It gives of itself without regard to self-interest.

An unwholesome self, which misuses and withholds itself and acts selfishly, will eventually destroy itself because it is going against its nature.

Unconditional generosity is never painful or onerous.  If giving feels onerous or painful then the self is giving for its own sake; it has a conditional motive. Unconditional generosity - giving to give away - is exhilarating, joyful, freeing. It feels right in the bones.

Spending the self unconditionally is joyful because it is Homecoming. It is fruition.  It is the fulfillment of an original promise.  It is like the Sun shining and the rain pouring down on saint and sinner alike, because that's what they are, that's what they do.

and AllahuAlim

TO LOVE FOR THE SAKE OF ALLAH

To love someone for the sake of Allah is to love them as a verb, where to love is to serve. That is, serve someone for the sake of Allah because they are in your life as family, colleagues or friends or because they have come to you and appear to require your service. In such cases, you may not even like the person, but you submit to your role, your duty or what the moment asks of you for Allah's sake - not for the sake of the person really (though you strive to do what is best for them) and not for your own sake (to benefit yourself or appear good).

To love someone for the sake of Allah is to love them -- as a noun, a warm, expansive, pleasurable feeling; or as a verb, where to love is to serve -- because they love Allah and they demonstrate their love for Allah in their actions and speech.

To love someone for the sake of Allah -- as a noun and as a verb -- is to love someone because you see the Divine Reflected in their goodness or beauty.

To love someone for the sake of Allah is to love someone unconditionally, without any regard for self-interest.

and AllahuAlim

image: kufic "Allah Hu" with thanks via the internet

YOU ARE THE SHADOW AND THE LIGHT.

image: with thanks via Maarten Appel

The nature of the human shadow is sickness: it is a complaint, a hunger, an emptiness that seeks to be filled. 

This sickness knows its own remedy.  Its remedy is light - the light of consciousness.  The shadow knows it can only be dispelled by light so like a thirsty person who is drawn to water, or a hungry person drawn to food, the shadow tries to emerge to the surface of consciousness.  And spiritual practices facilitate this emergence.  

The forms in which the shadow appears induce fear, shame and horror in the conscious self, so the one who has embarked on a spiritual path has to be courageous and look at the shadow’s manifestations, at what emerges from the sub and unconscious no matter how painful or difficult or ugly.

The degree to which the self is in denial of its shadow is the degree to which it is a slave to its shadow.  Such a self can lie, cheat, maim or murder and justify it on the basis of others’ behaviour or life’s circumstances.  

A life dedicated to the inner struggle for the sake of Allah can produce a transformative, healing consciousness.  All that is required is that the shadow be allowed to come into the light of such a consciousness. No denial, repression, justification, indulgence, judgment, explanation, attachment or resistance. Just acknowledgement:  this is what happened, this is how I feel, this is what I want.  Just allowing yourself to become fully aware of the denied and repressed feeling or experience, no matter how distressing to acknowledge. That is all. Then and only then can you become free of that feeling and experience. 

This process of acknowledgment has to be done carefully so that it does not damage you or anyone else.  It has to be done with the right intention and under correct guidance.  A fine balance has to be struck so that you do not deny or repress, but neither do you get sucked into self-pity or fly into a rage and hurt anyone.  

This process of acknowledgment also has to be done with as much detachment as possible.  A (growing) piece of consciousness has to be the detached seer, who is here just to see. Who is not identified with the feelings, thoughts and experiences.  But is only the one who sees, understands, learns, grows and moves on.

Otherwise, the sickness lingers, the shadow poisons everything, and the hunger, the thirst are never filled. You keep trying to run away from yourself and seek fulfilment and comfort here and there, with this one, in that activity. But nothing provides lasting relief. Because both the sickness and the remedy are inside. Both the shadow and the light are inside.  

You are the shadow and the light. 

image with thanks via Maarten Appel on facebook

Separation and Conditional Motive

Appel Art Via Maarten Appel on facebook

Separation and Conditional Motive

The core moral message of religion instructs us to act correctly at the cost of self-interest and in the benefit of the other (or sometimes for our own higher good). In other words, morality asks the self to forgo conditional motive.

When the self submits to this moral code, the self discovers the truth that lies behind this transactional correctness:

1) The self can forgo conditional motive based on self-interest because the self has been, is and will be taken care of by Other than it self.

2) The self and the other are not separate from and in conflict with each other, therefore doing what is best for the other, is best for the self.

In other words, there never was any need for conditional motive because separation was an illusion. 

And in fact, it is conditional motive that perpetuates separation, alienation and suffering.

From this perspective, the self realizes that the moral struggle is not about being good per se. It is a means to an end, and a very practical struggle. It is the process by which the consciousness of the self is liberated to realize itself as a Sublime Continuity.  

And AllahuAlim

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OUTCOME VERSUS PROCESS

Most of us are outcome focused because that is how we are conditioned. Human beings are essentially predatory, out to get something from the world to ensure (as we believe are trying to do) our survival.

When we are children, we are told that we will be rewarded if we do something ‘good’:  “Eat the vegetables and you will get dessert…. Get an A on your report card and you will get a new smart phone …. Behave well at aunty’s house and you will get to visit your friend…“ And the list goes on.

Initially, it may be the only way to teach a child something useful and beneficial.  You may have to bribe a child with chocolate to ensure she eats what is nutritious and beneficial for her.  You may have to promise him playtime at the park so that he finishes his homework.  Children do not, naturally, want to do things that are useful and beneficial.  They have to be taught and disciplined, in their own interest and in order to raise a person among people, and not a wild, irresponsible, hedonistic thing.

This training, this conditioning works initially.  The good child gets rewarded. The greatest of all rewards she gets is praise.  The good child – the one who is disciplined and diligent and obedient, the one who does hours of boring homework, is polite and helpful to the cantankerous old aunt, and helps out around the house – is understandably beloved by adults.  The good child gets recognition in academia or sports or arts.  The good child also generally gets gifts and material rewards.

This conditioning, however, makes the doing of things, which are inherently beneficial and should be done for their own sake, something to endure to get to the real purpose – which is the reward.  This means we learn to do things NOT TO DO THEM but to get them done so that we can get the reward at the end. Even if the reward is just the relief of being done.  

Now if my attention is not on what I am doing but on the future, on when it is done, then the process of doing becomes as joyful as getting stuck in traffic. You never sit in a car to get stuck in traffic.  You sit in a car to get somewhere. As long as you are moving easily, you can endure being in the car, but as soon as someone cuts in front of you or speeds past you or especially if there is a traffic jam, all your resentment about having to endure the car ride boils over to the surface.  The more outcome focused you are, the more painful the process becomes.  

We become conditioned, therefore, to expect rewards for doing things.  Even when we ourselves choose to do something, we act like children – resentful and somewhat reluctant while doing it and expecting a reward when we are done.  

So many adults who work hard at jobs they endure only for the paycheck party hard on weekends – eating and drinking to excess and sleeping late to “reward” themselves, as if they are compelled/ greedy children and not adults who have freely chosen to do what they do.

Not surprisingly, over time this effort-reward system starts to break down. Firstly because the outcomes we are expected to achieve become more and more complex and beyond our individual capacity to achieve, causing us anxiety and resentment about failure.  And secondly because all of life becomes a series of painful activities we must endure to get to the outcome and the reward, which are now farther and farther out of reach.

At this stage, we can either become more and more frustrated, bitter and exhausted from our attempts to control and get to outcomes that are harder to achieve, or we can choose to become conscious about our motivations and conditional motives.

Ask yourself: why am I doing what I am doing?  As an adult you are not compelled or bribed by anyone other than yourself.  You always have a choice. You are making the choice to work at your job.  Being unemployed, and going hungry – if the only other option, is still an option. It is a choice you are refusing to make.  You don’t want to risk your job.  Fine, but own up to that.  

Generally, no one can force you to stay in a job or a relationship or situation that you do not want to be in.  You are willing to endure it to get something, for some kind of security, or because you are unwilling to take the risk of walking out into uncertainty, into what is unknown.  That is fine.  But own up to it.  It will make you less resentful and your experience of life less onerous.

Ideally, of course, this process of self-inquiry and reflection makes us more conscious, over time, about our conditional motives, about why we choose to do what we do.  Once we become conscious of our motivations, we can begin to transform conditional intent to unconditional intent.  We can choose to do what is beneficial and what is appropriate FOR ITS OWN SAKE.  We can choose to serve others unconditionally because by putting our attention on what we can do, what we can contribute, we become fulfilled and secure. We can choose to eat what is good for us because it is good for us and not so we can binge on chocolate later.  

When we become conscious adults, we CHOOSE.  And then we submit to what we have chosen.  We do our best at the activity and we do it for its own sake. Doing things to do things, for their own sake, is being process focused; when we no longer care about outcomes and about rewards from achieving outcomes. Life is no longer a series of painful activities to endure to get to an increasingly elusive reward. Life becomes a series of joyfully, unconditionally done activities that deliver, each moment, the pleasurable reward BECAUSE THEY ARE THE REWARD.

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THE QUEST FOR MEANING CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING

Imagine you watched a film in which all kinds of horrible and random things happened and it ended in one of these random bizarre scenes, where nothing was resolved.  

How would you feel?  

Probably resentful, like you were cheated; with a bad taste in your mouth about the meaningless horror you had to witness.

Now imagine instead that towards the end things came together in a breath-taking manner.  And every bizarre, random, horrible thing made sense.  In this instance, you will probably be left astounded, amazed, enthralled.

In the first instance you experience the whole film as a total waste.  

In the second, you experience it as a work of genius.

So it doesn't matter how the story starts, what matters is how it ends. The end changes your experience of EVERYTHING. Even the beginning. 

So it doesn’t matter if you didn’t have a say in the way your story started.  You can have a say in how it ends, if you decide to change yourself and pursue meaning over form.  (The pursuit of meaning, by definition, requires you to seek your own higher potential).

This is what the quest for meaning can do; it can change the past. It can transform your whole life.  It can turn it from a series of random horrors to a tale of breath taking genius.

The Now is key.  

The witness, the reader of the text is paramount.  

And wholesome action and spiritual practices that make you submit and make you present, are helpful.

So cultivate the detached witness, the one who is here to see, not the one who is seen. And always come back to the present and what you can do now. 

Because your power to change the whole story, the whole experience of your life, is in the Here and Now.

Even if it means one word, one step, one breath.  Do that one tiny correct thing NOW.

TAQWA - THE FEAR OF GOD

The Arabic word taqwa is often translated as the fear of God.  It is also sometimes translated as God consciousness or a kind of vigilance. This is fear of the Beloved's displeasure; a fear that arises from Love.

The one who has realized that the separation between self and other is illusory, knows that the most subtle act of self-service – at the expense of the other – has consequences and fears these consequences. But such a person also knows that this "wrath" is the Beloved's mercy because He is watching and He does not want the abd to go astray. 

The abd's fear and the Beloved's "wrath" are both manifestations of Love. The abd's Love for her Beloved and the Beloved's love for the abd.

The fear which is an absence of love, is the fear of one who believes she is an independent being in a hostile world, where she has to secure her own wellbeing.  This fear is rooted in illusion and falsehood - the illusion that one is separate and the false notion that the self can and does provide for and protect itself. This fear is rooted in being a victim and being ungrateful.  

If one were to see things as they are, one would know that one has been created, sustained, protected and nourished by a Genius and a Generosity without having earned or deserved so much as one breath of life.  From this correct apprehension of one's condition, springs trust, which helps one face uncertainty and perceived threats with equanimity.  

And Allah knows best.

Image with thanks from << http://www.ramweb.org/sawm-in-arabic.html>>

The Tranquility Of Your Heart

Your problem isn't that you need to admire, to love, to worship someone. You are made to be a worshipful being. It is your Design: “And I did not create the jinn and humankind except to worship Me.” (Quran 51:56)

Your problem is that you worship people and things. They break your heart and disappoint you. Then you complain, you blame them for your misery and remain stuck.

When you submit yourself and your worship to its rightful Owner – that is, when you realize, when you interiorize La Illaha Il Allah – your heart will became tranquil.

image: intrepid travel

PEACE IS IN THE PRESENT MOMENT

To be present is to be at peace.

To be present we must let go of the past.
To let go of the past we must first acknowledge it fully.
When we acknowledge it fully, we see it correctly.
When we see it correctly, we see what can and cannot be done – particularly what cannot be undone – and we choose to let it all go.
When we see it correctly, we also see the blessing in what had appeared previously as a curse.
When we have fully acknowledged and seen the past for what it is we are grateful and we can let it go.
We become at peace with the past.

When we become at peace with the past we become at peace with the future. 
Because we know that the same Benevolence that cared for us in the past will care for us in the future.

When the past no longer burdens us and the future no longer worries us, we become present.
And we are at peace.

In order not to accumulate baggage from the present moment, it is important to act correctly in the moment. To act correctly is to act with unconditional benevolent intent because only then have we have given what were are being asked to give, we have done what we are being asked to do, we have done our best – we have been generous or courageous as appropriate.   

Being deliberate about correct action in the present, about letting go of the past and about letting go of anxiety for the future, are mutually enabling.

When we have done the appropriate, done our best, we can move on to the next moment without guilt, resentment or anxiety.  We are present.  And at peace.


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INTIMACY/ ALIENATION

Why is it that you can spend decades in close proximity with someone and still experience them as alien?  Or meet someone for the first time and feel like you have always known them?

Because intimacy is not about physical distance or time.  Real intimacy is about an expansive openness, an all-embracing acceptance and a deep understanding, which comes primarily from accepting and knowing yourself.  

This self-knowledge and acceptance enables others to open up to you and allows you to accept and know the other as intimately as yourself.

Ultimately, real intimacy is discovering that you exist in the other. 

It is finding yourself Home in the Other. 
And discovering that they exist in you.

May Allah grant us that.  

image: with thanks via Wildlife Photographer Of The Year

LET GO WHAT YOU LOVE

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When the Beloved asks, give up whatever it is -- no matter how precious, how beautiful it is; no matter how much you love it; no matter how painful giving up is.

Give up.

In time, you will find that the Beloved asked you to give up what you were clutching so you could hold something better - something more precious, more beautiful, more enchanting than you could ever imagine.

Trust the Beloved

Give up. 
Let Go.
Surrender.
Completely.

YOUR PAIN IS A BLESSING

image with thanks via Iraj Jahanshahi

The courtesy when in pain is to submit and try to understand it.  You can take a quick fix to suppress it or find an escape to distract yourself from it and that can work for a while.  But, the real remedy for chronic pain lies in acknowledging it, being curious about it and trying to understand where it is coming from and what it is saying to you so you can cure it.

Pain is telling you:

*Stop whatever it is you are doing;
*Pay attention here!;
*Understand what is going on so you can find a cure.

If your body didn't hurt when it was on fire, you could be burnt to a crisp by a fire while you slept.  It is the same with any other kind of pain, emotional or mental.  If you didn't hurt you would not do anything to save yourself from further damage and destruction.

Pain is not your enemy; it is your ally. It is telling you pay attention, do something -- something else, something new.  

If you were never hurt and confused, if you were never lost and afraid, you would never change.  

You know how stubborn you are, how compulsive, how conditioned, how attached to the things, activities and people you love. 

You know you would never change unless you were forced to.  Unless the pain were so intense that your usual distractions and addictions stopped working.

And that is what your pain is here to do - whether physical, mental, or emotional  - it's here to force you to change.

Accept it and work with it, make it your ally.  And surely the Merciful One will reveal to you the immense blessing in it.  Because it is a blessing.  

I know it hurts.

But it is a blessing.

Everything is encompassed in and comes from the Beloved's Mercy.

And Allah knows best.

image with thanks via Iraj Jahanshahi

BEAUTY

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There is a manifestation of beauty that is heartbreakingly vulnerable, ephemeral and delicate.  Like dew drops dangling on a spider's web, like butterfly wings, like brittle miniature sea shells, like the filigreed bones of hummingbirds.  

It is precisely the fragility that renders the object beautiful.  And it is the same fragility that makes it so evanescent and impossible to hold on to, to possess.  

What this teaches us is to delight in what is gorgeous, here and now. And be so filled with marvel and gratitude at the miracle of Existence that neither do we want to own the object of beauty, nor grieve at its impermanence.

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HEALING 2

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Most of us will do anything but confront and understand our own selves; our own pain and darkness. we will indulge in blame, analysis, activity, substances, other people -- anything that will numb our pain, distract us or give us pleasure. Anything that promises escape.

It takes a combination of immense pain and courage to walk into one's internal hell and confront one's neediness, brokenness and vileness; and to give up one's attachments - our most prized possessions, ideas and identities.

But this total dispossession and submission is the price for the real and lasting cure for our pain and suffering.

Allah is with those who strive for His sake, those who are sincere and patient. And Allah knows best.

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HARMONY

An enjoyable aspect of any relationship is a deep and abiding sense of harmony.
Harmony doesn’t mean that the two or more elements in the phenomena are the same. It means that even though the two elements are different, they are not discordant, or in contradiction or conflict with each other. On the contrary, they complement and enhance each other. One makes the other better.

So, it is not that two people in a harmonious relationship are the same, or talking about/ doing the same thing, or always in agreement, or in the same physical or mental state. Harmony means that the difference does not cause discord or hostility. It leads to learning and growth and provides succor and relief.

Harmony implies that there is acceptance and appreciation of the difference. There is no attempt to pull the other to one's point of view, activity or state of being. There is trust and receptivity that allows one to embrace and be infused by the state of the other.
It is not really the content of what is said or done in a harmonious relationship, which is always remarkable or special. It is the trust, acceptance and understanding that accounts for the soothing and uplifting nature of the experience.

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BEAUTIFUL♥

To be beautiful, you don't have to have the perfect face and body.

Sincerity is beautiful; be sincere. Generosity is beautiful; be generous. Courage is beautiful; be courageous. Authenticity is beautiful; be authentic. Vulnerability is beautiful; be vulnerable. Imperfection is beautiful; be imperfect. Doing things fully, wholeheartedly is beautiful. Be full and wholehearted.

Presence is beautiful. Be present. Attention is beautiful. Be attentive.

Love is beautiful. Be Loving. Be in Love. Be Love. Be Beautiful♥

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ALLAH YA KAREEM♥

If Allah takes away your physical ability and then returns it to you, there is another blessing beyond the return of ability. He gives you a renewed appreciation for what you grew up with and took for granted. He gives you an opportunity to realize just how miraculous your life, your body, and you are. Just how great His Genius is and just how immense His Generosity is.

image with thanks via Ahmed Sami at https://urmania.wordpress.com/digital-m…/arabic-calligraphy/