MALEVOLENCE

MALEVOLENCE

Unless we see the face of malevolence in its extreme form, we do not understand its nature or appreciate its full horror and we make excuses for its more subtle forms, especially as it appears in ourselves.


photo: with thanks via http://www.ffonts.net/Malevolent-z.font

Why Guilt Often Backfires

Why Guilt Often Backfires

When we act from guilt, our motivation is to make ourselves look or feel better, not necessarily serve or benefit the other.  Because we are not trying to give but trying to get something from the other, they experience us as predatory or manipulative. They will react by withdrawing  their approval or complain and demand more.  In either case, our attempts will backfire.

photo: with thanks via Maarten Maarten Appel on facebook

SEPARATION

SEPARATION Understand that if you look at the rest of humanity and say: "I'm different, I'm this but not that, I'm part of this not that" then you cling to separation, to a separate identity, to illusion. And you suffer from alienation, hatred and fear. If you want an identity that distinguishes you, that is "better" than the identity of the other, then what are you doing on the spiritual path? Drop the talk about nearness, union and gnosis. This path is about all or nothing. There's nothing half-hearted or partial about this endeavour. There's no exclusion, exception, or choice. You have to accept All of it - the profane and sublime; the base and noble; the dark and light; the ugly and beautiful; the pain and joy. You have to embrace the alien, the enemy, the tormentor, the other as yourself. This is Union. All else is separation. photo: with thanks via Maarten Maarten Appel

HEALING

HEALING Self-pity, resentment, fear and despair exacerbate disease. if you think you are unique in your suffering; if you are asking why me; if you have no faith and you think I cannot do what is required to go through it, then you are aiding your disease. It is natural to experience these emotions when one is very sick, but understand that indulging yourself in them will make you sicker. Accept the totality of the situation and yourself. Then deliberately choose gratitude, forgiveness, trust and faith to heal. and Allah is the best of Providers and Healers. photo: with thanks via Maarten Maarten Appel

Gratitude For The Petty Tyrant

Gratitude For The Petty Tyrant If there is someone in your life who drives you to distraction but with whom you cannot or will not sever ties, then this person is your "petty tyrant" (PT) in the words of Carlos Castaneda. One way to work on your relationship with this PT is to deliberately seek out what this person does for you for which you are grateful. Every time you have a resentful or violent thought about the PT, deliberately seek a reason to be grateful to this person. Initially this will be take effort. But overtime, you will find it less of a struggle and you will find more and more reasons to be grateful to the person. Eventually, the gratitude will become more effortless and spontaneous and it will wipe the grime of resentment from your vision. And most amazingly, you will find more and more things the PT did in the past as well, for which you are grateful to them -- things that you had never seen before. In other words, your gratitude in the present will transmute your resentment and not only change your present but also change your perception, experience and narrative of the past! Even if this person continues to irritate you, the intensity of your emotion will be milder, you will find it easier to restrain yourself during a trying interaction, and you will get over your irritation faster. You will find your heart filled with more and more love for this same person. SubhanAllah! image: with thanks via Maarten Maarten Appel on facebook

Disagreements and Binaries

Disagreements and Binaries Sometimes it appears that we create and then refuse to see past mutually exclusive binaries. If you identify with X then all X is good/right, and all Y is bad/wrong. If I don't agree with X then it must mean that I hate all X and must prove X to be bad and wish X ill. We may dress up our arguments with complicated words, concepts and lots of references and data, but at its core, this is a childish and immature way of regarding and dealing with the world. Reality and human beings are much more complex and nuanced and cannot be forced into binaries. All of existence, including ourselves, are mysterious, subtle and contain unlimited, hidden potential. One of the things we desperately need to learn as a species is to disagree without anger, hatred, ill-will and judgment -- the kind of judgement which presumes and does violence to the other. This requires us to suspend our need to be right, to be good, to be important. It requires us to give up our need to defend ourselves, our views, our beliefs, our politics, our identities. It requires us to listen with the intent to understand. It requires us to be open to the possibility that we may be wrong, misinformed, misguided or ignorant, or at least to the possibility that we have not considered all details, thought about all aspects of the issue. It requires us to keep our minds, hearts and ears open. It requires us to be humble, generous and courageous. Allah's world is vast and generous enough to accommodate all of us - saints and sinners, kings and beggars. Our hearts have the capacity to be this vast and generous as well. May Allah grant us this humility, generosity and courage. and Allah knows best. photo: with thanks via Maarten Maarten Appel

Benevolence and Gratitude

Benevolence and Malevolence have nothing to do with outward circumstances. Unconditional benevolent intent is the intent to serve or benefit the other without any regard to self-interest. Malevolent intent is to use, abuse, manipulate or consume the other in order to serve the self’s interest.

Malevolent intent is not based on outward circumstances but on arrogance and a victim identity, on resentment and a sense of entitlement. The victim feels done in and bears no accountability for his life or actions. He blames the other and holds the other accountable. He is here to get from the world because he feels he hasn’t gotten his due. So, he engages in malevolence without a second thought. He claims he cannot give because he has not received anything from the other. He is focused on his illness, pain, misfortune, loss, goal or ambition; on what he wants to get. He does not focus on what makes his life work – all that is given to and done for him by other than him. Instead of gratitude, he looks at his life and the world with judgment and resentment.

Similarly, benevolent intent does not depend on outward circumstances. You do not need money, a PhD degree or even perfect health to serve the other unconditionally. Listening and accepting, affirming and encouraging with sincerity – just allowing someone to be fully who they are without judging them or trying to fix them – are acts of great generosity that don’t require money, literacy or good health. Telling the truth, being fair and being honest when it is beneficial to the other but is not in our interest, are acts of great courage that don’t require money, literacy or good health. Unconditional benevolence springs from gratitude, from a realization that the self has received in excess of its due. Anyone of us can be unconditionally benevolent if we are grateful for what we have.


photo with thanks via Iraj Jahanshahi