Wednesday 15 June 2016

The Problem With Binaries




As a species we seem to have little capacity to disagree but allow the other to fully express and be who they are – with acceptance, compassion, love and respect. Beware of anyone who tells you that anyone who is not like you; does not dress or live or eat like you; does not speak or think or believe like you; or someone who disagrees with you; is your enemy and hates you. At the root of all violence – subtle and obvious – lies the idea that the world exists in binaries that are mutually exclusive and hostile. There is an assumption that if I disagree with something, I must necessarily hate those who agree with it. This is not true. This binary thinking is what is problematic, not disagreement, different belief systems, lifestyles or ways of being. It is possible to defer to a religious position without having to hate anyone who disagrees with it or lives differently from it. It is possible to disagree and yet accept the other's right to their opinion, choices and perspectives. It is possible to disagree but be appreciative and in awe of the many amazing attributes that other human beings have. It is possible to disagree with but love a person for their heart, for their presence, for their being, for their struggle, for their humanity. It is possible to disagree with but wish the best for and do the best for and have only goodwill towards another person. I personally am sick and tired of the binaries that we impose on our own selves and on others. The world is vast enough and our Creator is generous enough to accommodate us all. And we must struggle to find our authenticity, our own convictions that do not necessarily fit convenient but reduced categories like “pro-x”/ “anti-x.” Don't judge someone who does not agree with you and don't let anyone guilt you or bully you into a position by labeling or judging you. May Allah grant us the capacity to recognize and be for truth, beyond binaries, and whichever , “side” it comes from. photo: with thanks via Maarten Maarten Appel www.sufi-girl.blogspot.com

Monday 13 June 2016

The Need For Significance Makes Us Prey

As humans we seek to be significant, to be seen, to stand out. After all, how many of us will say our aspiration is to die a nameless loser? The Design, however, is for us not to seek but to grant significance. Our eyes - which more than any other organ in the body are associated with attention - are oriented outwards, towards the other, not towards the self. That which is significant is worthy of attention. Therefore, our physical Design tells us we are here to grant, not get significance. (from the teachings of Shaykh Ebrahim Etsko Schuitema) This is also explicitly mentioned in the Quran, “And I did not create the jinn and humankind except to worship Me.” (Quran 51:56) We are made to worship Other than us - "everywhere you turn is the face of Allah" which means we are not here to worship ourselves, to grant significance to ourselves to vie with others to get significance. So, we embody and live this contradiction -- wanting significance and yet carrying and existing in the Design of being here to grant significance. One of the ways in which this contradiction plays out is that when we strive to appear, to stand out, we set ourselves up for attack. Just like the Design of our eyes, this is evident in nature. In the natural world, camouflage is protective to all creatures. Camouflage is about blending in, not standing out. That which blends in is safe. That which stands out is prey. The same rule applies for humans. The human being who seeks to be seen, who seeks to stand out, becomes prey. She or he will be attacked. Usually, the one who is prey will react by accusing and abusing the attacker. And there will be truth in the accusation. The predator may indeed be reprehensible. But until we understand the root of this dynamic, we will set ourselves up for attack again and again. I am one, but "they" are many. It is not in my power to stop the predators. They will eventually wear me down. But it is in my power to give up the need to be significant, to be seen. It is in my power to blend in and be safe. It is in my power to be the one who grants, not seeks, significance and attention. This is also the meaning of humility -- being here to grant, not seek, significance. And it is a profoundly practical attribute to cultivate. If you feel people are always attacking you, examine your intent. When you interact with others, are you motivated by the intent to stand out and be seen or are you motivated by the intent to listen, understand and grant the other significance? Changing our intent to grant significance to the other has the most profound and miraculous effect on our interactions. The world no longer attacks us. And the few attacks that find their way to us don't feel like attacks any more because we are not engaging for the sake or significance (to be right, important or liked). This is because our intent is now in harmony with the Design and all of Existence. When we blend in, when we grant significance, we are allied with all of Life. We are safe. and Allah knows best. photo: with thanks via Maarten Maarten Appel on Facebook